And The Usual For You Sir?

Ray and my father had been best friends since childhood. Now in the budding infancy of adulthood and careers Ray and my father were living together and starting to carve their niche. Ray worked at Oakland Airport in baggage and my father was putting his newly acquired real estate license to work with Red Carpet.
My dad came in the apartment one evening after work, very nervous about the prospect of having to fly the following week with the Vice President of his company to a convention somewhere out of state.
"Are you flying out of Oakland?" Ray inquired.
"Yeah, I have all the information right here." dad retorted.
"Man, Ill take care of everything, don't worry". And with that my dad didn't worry, he knew Ray would come through.

On the day of the flight, my father and the accompanying VP pulled up curbside to red carpet treatment (pardon the pun).
"Right this way Mr. Tullis. and " Nice to see you again Mr. Tullis, we are going to pre-board you and your guest this morning." From baggage handlers, to ticket personnel, to stewards, my dad was made out to be a king amongst men, and dad just went with the flow. (slightly fluffing up a little I'm sure).
As his boss and him settled in their seats, the pretty stewardess approached and set napkins if front of the gentlemen.
"What can I bring for you to drink this morning sir?" she asked the VP.
"A screwdriver please."
"And the usual for you Mr. Tullis?"
"Of course, that will be fine". My father confidently replied-he was on top of the world!
Moments later the attractive woman returned and set the screwdriver in front of the boss, and proceeded to hand my father a coloring book and packet of crayons.
"Enjoy the flight gentlemen, and very good to see you again Mr. Tullis."

Out the window, and right on cue, was Ray with an ear-to-ear grin waving enthusiastically at my dads window seat.

Chimps on Penguins

This post is so delightfully Sam Tullis, that it is not just saved in our computer, but a part of the desktop for easy access. This was forwarded to him by one of his email buddies and I believe that in a moment of clarity and neccesity, he channeled the computer know-how to get it on the desktop. This represents the only time I didn't help him do something as simple as copy and paste.

My thanks to Carrie for the reminder and suggestion that no matter what curve balls life may throw, this bit of Schick could make a beefeater smile!

Freudian Slip

So much of my fathers story telling was honed and present in his ability to tell a joke. The fact of the matter is that he could not only deliver a punchline, but he could tell a 15 minute joke and leave the listener riveted for the outcome, even if the recipient had heard the tale 20 times before (which was often the case). To be able to keep a repetitive joke fresh and exciting takes a special something not every person possesses.

This is one of my all time favorites:

A man walks into his office one day only to find his co-worker pouring a cup of morning coffee and talking about how he had the worst Freudian slip the other day.
"Freudian slip? Whats that?" the man asks.
"You know, when you mean to say one thing and you accidentally say something else. Like the other day I needed to fly to Pittsburgh. So I go to the ticket counter and the girl behind the desk has the most enormous breasts I've ever seen. I meant to say, I need 2 tickets to Pittsburgh, but instead I fumble, I need 2 pickets to tits burgh."
"OH!" says the man, "I had one of those Freudian slips the other day as well. I was sitting across the breakfast table from my wife, and I meant to say, Honey-please pass the salt, and out pops....You fucking bitch, you ruined my life!"

Thanks Dad, that one is timeless!